What do you need to work toward making Draft 2 more complete and convincing?

uploaded the an essay I wrote before. Please pretend your wrote this essay and answer those questions below, if you were me what challenges it may occur during my research.
What have been the challenges of finding a solution to advocate? How did you decide? What do you like about your proposed solution? What have you learned about finding solutions to real-world problems? What challenged you in writing Draft 1? What helped you in writing Draft 1? What do you need to work toward making Draft 2 more complete and convincing? Be specific and honest.

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